“ROOTY” The Rooster. Hand Puppet from Hell!!! Part 2

A Rooster hand puppet torments me…even in my dreams. 

It got to the point where I started having nightmares about the little bastard.

At first, the dreams would start out nice – typical kid dreams – like it’s my birthday or Christmas Day and I got a present to open. Yippee! Then it would turn dark. I’d open the present and there would be Rooty all wrapped in tissue clucking away “WHY?! WHY?! WHY!”

 
My Mom would several times have to shake me awake at night as I’d be sweating and screaming in my sleep “NO! GETAWAY! GET HIM AWAY! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” 

For a while I hated going to sleep as I would be afraid that I’d have another one of those frightening “Rooty Dreams.” 

Mom grew worried as her Pleasingly Plump Boy was starting to look a little haggard with dark circles under his eyes. 

Matty, on the other hand, looked smug and triumphant. I just looked droopy. Worse I was starting to develop nervous tics. 

Eventually, salvation arrived as it always does in time. 

One day Mom decided to clean Matt’s room and throw away a bunch of trash he had accumulated. Matt was always kind of a slob. So it was a monumental task and not one she did very often.

 
Armed with a vacuum and some large brown paper bags she went into Matt’s room and began tossing what she assumed was garbage lying under his bed and closet into trash bags. She then gave his room a thorough vacuuming. 

Rooty somehow ended up getting tossed in the mix. 

Matty was devastated. And for days he’d wail that Mom had “deliberately” thrown away his beloved hand puppet.

Mom felt terrible. She went out searching for a Rooty replacement but to no avail. No one seemed to carry that kind of puppet anymore. All the stores she checked out had zilch in the Rooster puppet category.

“Sorry, Lady. I have never seen a “Rooster ” puppet before. How about a nice Winnie the Pooh plush toy for Your Boy?”

 
She eventually got Matty calmed down by buying him a big bag of plastic army men that were popular with all the kids back in the 1960s.

Pretty soon Matty forgot about Rooty as he used the army men to reenact battle scenes from the Rat Patrol show he saw on TV. 

I, on the other hand, began to get a good night’s sleep again. And with my daily doses of Nestle’s Quick Shakes, I was soon back to my “pleasingly plump” rotund self. 

All in All, things seem to be taking an upturn. My birthday was coming up and I was free from that tormenting puppet. 

The big day soon arrived and my family celebrated it royally. There was cake and ice cream and even balloons. Cool! 

I was then given my birthday gift. It was a big box with a big blue bow and was wrapped in brightly colored paper that had birthday cakes and balloons all over. 

I began to tear off the paper and bow and then I stopped. Wait a minute… This is just like my nightmare about Rooty. Oh, God, it can’t really be happening? Please God no?! Anything but that! I thought. 

But eventually, curiosity and greed won out. And I slowly resumed opening my gift with trembling fingers. After all, that was just a dream – right?  RIGHT?! 

Wrapping paper off I tore the nondescript box open to reveal?

A Large…uh… DOLL??! 

Inside was a card that cheerfully announced – “Kids! You too can be a ventriloquist! Learn to throw your voice in 10 easy steps. MEET YOUR NEW PAL -” RUSTY”! “

Bewildered I looked up at my beaming Mom who smiled. She rubbed our backs and said” “Rick and I saw how much you Boys enjoyed puppets. So, Charlie, we got you a Big One for your birthday. Perhaps you Boys can play with it together? Maybe you both can put on a puppet show for us?!”

Her question just hung in the air amongst a deafening silence and then…

 
I looked up at Matt with an evil grin and said “Surre Mom… Why not? It’ll be fun!  RIGHT MATTY?! Heh! Heh! Heh!” 

Matty gave out an agonizing groan “OhhNoooo!” 

And then passed out – Face first right into the middle of the cake.

By the time we had got him revived and cleaned up in the bathroom – Star, my dog had quickly polished off the remaining fragments of cake from the kitchen table. 

Having ingested about 3 pounds of cake. Star licked her chops, gave an enormous Doggy “BURP!” then promptly threw up all over the kitchen floor. 

It was one hell of a party. 

End of Part 2

Finis