“Jake and his Hot Trans-Am” Part 2
To give you an idea of how I swept the chicks off there feet at school. Do you remember that TV show “Kung Fu” with David Carradine? Whenever David got into a scrape or a had problem he’d remember some specific moment from his “Grasshopper” days back in the Shaolin Temple. This style of having a character relive a moment from the past became very popular in TV shows and films later on. Anyway, I have always called this – having a “Kung Fu Flashback.”
So, indulge me, as I do a couple of Kung Fu Flashbacks courtesy of my good ol’ memories at Farmstead High School.
Cue the tape and let’s run the scene:
Kung Fu Flashback: Scene 1: The scene begins showing a wide shot of a cute girl sitting by herself in Farmstead’s Quad on a concrete bench.
I enter from camera frame left and slowly approach the girl.
Me: “Hi!”
Girl “Hello.”
Me: “You’re in my Homeroom aren’t you?”
Girl: “Maybe…”
Me: “Would you like to go to the Football Game with me on Friday Night?”
Girl:????!
Me: “Well how about it?”
Girl: “Who are you anyway?”
Me: “Chuck!”
Girl: “Chuck…what?
Me: ” Chuck Bucklin!”
Girl: “Chuck…Bucklin. What a funny name. Your parents must have laughed when they named you!
Me: ” Uhh.”
Girl: “No I don’t think so. I gotta lot of homework to do on Friday night. Chuck…Bucklin…laughs…What a Funny Name…hahahahaha!”
I stalk humiliated off the right of the camera frame.
***
Kung Fu Flashback: Scene 2: Same setup – different girl.
I enter from the left frame of the camera.
Me: ” Hey!”
Girl #2: “Hi!”
Me: “What’s your name?”
Girl #2: “Penelope, but people call me Penny.”
Me: “Oh like the song ” Pennies from Heaven”?”
Girl #2:???! “You mean ” Stairway to Heaven” by Led Zepplin?”
Me: “Nooo. Ah, skip it. Say how about going to the Football Game with me Friday Night Peppy… I mean Penny?”
Girl #2 : “ummmm…What’s your name?”
Me: “Chuck!
“Chuck.”
Girl #2: “Chuck…what?”
Me: “Errr…Bucklin.”
Girl #2: Thinking very hard. “Chuck…Bucklin…Chuck Bucklin. Ya know I think I’ve heard of you.”
Me: “Really?”
Girl #2: “Yeah. I think I have. No, I don’t think so. I have to wash my hair Friday night.”
Me: “Okayyyy. Later.” I exit disappointed right of the camera frame.
Girl #2: Yelling after me. “Think about changing “That Funny Name” Chuck!”
***
.
Kung Fu Flashback: Scene 3: Same setup, different Girl.
I enter from the left side of the camera frame.
Me: “Yo.”
Girl #3: “Hey!”
Me: “How about it Baby?” Trying to do my best Elvis impersonation.
Girl #3: “How about…what?”
Me: “How about…going with me to the Football Game Friday night?!”
Girl #3: “What’s your name?”
Me: “Chu…Charles.”
Girl #3: laughing. “Chuck Bucklin! I know it’s you! The answer is no.”
I slink off the right side of the camera frame with a tail between my legs.
Girl #3: Yelling after me. “And stop pestering us Sophomores! We all know about you Chuck, and nobody wants to go out with you. So lay off!!!”
***
Kung Fu Flashback #4: Last Scene: Same set up except there are three girls sitting together on a concrete bench in the Quad.
I enter from the left camera frame.
Me: “uh hi…”
Girls #4, 5, 6: Yell in Unison. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
I run off the right camera frame faster than a wet hen on fire.
Girls #4, 5, 6: “HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!”
Gee…wasn’t that fun kids? Kinda like riding a nostalgic roller coaster from Hell.
Want to go again? No? Well, neither do I.
So allow me to continue this story another time.
***
To be continued…
2 Comments
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I understand Chuck, the problem was that You were trying to hit out of your league.
We all had our gawky stage. The only guys the cool Gals seemed interested in were the Football team.
I was 6’2″ and 128 pounds when I graduated so only a select few Gals who had zero chance at a football player
found Me interesting.
Perhaps if You had kept Your tail hidden it would have helped.
I later found that getting a good job and making a grand a week made Me VERY attractive.
Hey Buddy, I can relate to what you are sayin.’ In high school, I practically wrote the book on being “gawky.” Thanks for your loyal support.