“The Great War” Part 2

Enter Gnomes Buggerz and Schmendrick into my story. 

Buggerz was the smarter of the two but that ain’t sayin much. His brain was like a BB in a boxcar. 

Schmendrick couldn’t find his ass even if his hands were in his back pockets! 

These two addle headed Gnomes were just perfect for the suicide mission.

But what were they supposed to take you may ask? Well, the Council had the same dilemma. So they once agin they asked Grandaffy for advice. 

The Wizard disappeared into a nearby outhouse for a couple of hours- to do some more meditatin.’

“What to take?”  he wrote down on some TP. 

Well, they couldn’t take no ring as that had copyright issues.  A Statue – would just be too big for the little fokkers to tote. But how about a Magick pebble?

Yessir, he thought. We’ll tell them it was a Magick stone – designed to weaken the enemy. And if they got bored on their trip – they could use it to play D&D or Checkers as a missing board piece. 

The Magick pebble was  presented with much flourish by the Council to the two Idjits after a bunch of speechifyin,’ hand shakin’ and backslappin.’  

They were then told that they would be transportin’ the stone to a “special place” in the land of Nabob. A place that would be revealed to them later. 

Much to the consternation of the Assembled – Smendrick scratched his buttocks and asked:

“Do we have to go? Cause Ahs know a place where… Hee Hee…the sun doesn’t shine.”

Buggerz rolled his eyes and then gave Schmendrick a  wallop upside the head. 

“Knucklehead! You’se just bein’ gross! A thousand pardons me Lord’s,”  he said givin’ a little bow to the assembly.  

And with that partin’ comment, the Gnomes departed on their quest.

*

To be continued…