“The Great War” Part 10 – Epilogue

Epilogue

Ketched’ bye surprise, Suntan, aka “PoPo the Klown,”  had to cancel mid performance his entertainments at a local kiddy birthday party. 

The poor sumbitch was absolutely humiliated that his Epic plans had been thwarted by a cantankerous Volcano. 

The Great Anus Volcano finely simmered down after a few days – leavin’ Nabob’s residents skeered shitless. A layer of ash and dust covered thar homes. 

Suntan – once he was able to – sent Grandaffy a letter of apology with a cluster of nice party balloons attached with it.

Grandaffy wisely accepted Suntan’s apology. And the two worked out thar differences. 

From that point – all folks in both Territories would be allowed to visit each other. And if the folks in Nabob wanted to live, work, and ya know… git some good candy in Elf Land – that was jest fine too. 

In a act of friendship – Grandaffy generously booked Suntan to appear as PoPo at his next birthday party later that year. 

Somehow Hewitt Putter managed to Magicky transport Buggerz and Schmendrick back home with a note that was pinned to each of ’em that said “Never Again!!!” 

After transportin’ the Gnomes back to Elf Land – Mistur Putter disappeared. Rumor had it that he returned to his Magick School for the upcomin’ Fall Semester in “Lands Far Away.”

Of course, ECOE was a little P. O.d that Buggerz and Schmendrick had not followed thar instructions – but after a Council meeting it was agreed upon – that the lil’ fokkerz had saved the day and deserved a rewardy. 

So in a big celebration – Grandaffy presented each one of them with a “Medal for Heroism,” a couple of sticks of chewing gum and five bucks to blow on whatever they liked.

Schmendrick promptly spent his money on some cheap Moonshine and went back to bein’ a worthless Fool. 

Buggerz got collared by Grandaffy who got him to fill out all the details of what happened over thar Nabob during the Quest. 

Grandaffy convinced Buggerz that they should put their heads together and write thar Epic yarn down – and maybe sell the pack of lies to the folks in Tinseltown. 

And as you know – that’s exactly what they did. 

Of course, they had to change a bunch of stuff. Sose that’s why I had to write my version down- jest to set the record straight.

“Bob” Treewanker

The end 

About this Story

During the beginning of the Covid 19 pandemic, I decided to write a fictional short story about an unemployed Christmas elf named “Bob” Treewanker.

Inspired by a writing prompt for a writers and born out of boredom – I decided to dive headfirst and write a tale that was pure fantasy. Which would be a first for me.

I didn’t want to write a straightforward story about elves, but rather a parody or spoof of the fantasy genre.

That is why I decided to create a character who was a Hillbilly and an elf. This gave me the freedom to play in a world I’d like to call Rustic Fantasy. I don’t think this genre is unique to me but my approach and characters are…well, different to what’s out there.

Little did I know that my first “Bob” story would multiply into forty-five little tales about this humorous character – who talked a lot like Huckleberry Finn in my head.

“Bob” became my personal court jester, a fool who would entertain the kingdom of my mind during these stressful times.

Often his stories would start as letters to his former employer, Santa – hence the opening line of “Dear Mistur Klause.” But over time I eventually dropped this letter format and just let “Bob” tell his stories.

Perhaps a short story book about “Bob” stories might be in the offing, but we’ll have to see.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy them.