Jake and his Hot Trans Am Part 8

A few hours later I was holding a sobbing chick who acted as she had just recovered her best friend in the whole world after a 20-year absence.  Geez…and all I had done was say Hi! 

Back in those days-  I seemed to have that kind of effect on chicks, they either laughed or cried whenever I opened my mouth.

I hated it when women cried. It scared me.  I remember one time my Mom, Matty, and I  were living in a nice house in Los Gatos in another life where we ate “real food” not just Hamburger Helper. Mom was struggling with us Boys as usual, and during a fracas had accidentally hit her head on an open cabinet door. There was a loud “Bonk” as her head connected and then she burst into tears. What I remember the most was being so frightened, feeling utterly helpless as this woman suddenly sobbed away and there was nothing, nothing I could do to stop her from crying. She wasn’t just crying from the pain of hitting her head, that was just a catalyst, it was as if all her misery and sorrows from the past suddenly punched through the dam of her usual reserve. She cried and cried while we watched terrified and helpless. Poor women, she tried so hard with us rotten kids and the intricacies of life.

We sat down on a couch, I held her hand and let her settle down.

“Chuck…” she started. Then another gush of sobbing. “I wanted to…” more boohooing ensued. Oh Boy, this is going to take a while I thought.

“Chuck…do you think I’m…cough, cough, cough…do you think I am…gulp…Gay?”

I practically fell off the couch.

“Whaaaat? No! Ha-Ha-Ha!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah “

Silence.

Me: “Why do you think that you’re Gay? Have you developed…uh,  feelings for other chicks, I mean girls, uh women?” Sigmund Freud “Chuck” here.

“Noooo. Ewwww!”

“Then why do you think that you’re Gay?”

“Umm, when I wouldn’t sleep with Jake, he said he thought I was gay! And he said That was the reason he was breaking up with me.”

Jake, You F*cker! I thought.

“No Donna. You’re not gay. He was just saying that. He probably used that as an excuse.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I am sure. Don’t worry about it. Guys can be stupid sometimes, and say stupid sh*t.”

Silence.

Donna: “I’m sorry about Peggy.”

“Ah forget it. I am sorry I went off on you Guys I was just pissed.”

“Well, you were kind of funny, when you did.”

“Me? Funny? I thought I had turned into The Green Hulk!”

“You. No, Chuck. You were Not “The Hulk”!”

“The Joker” from Batman?”

‘No.”

“The Riddler” then?”

“No. More like “The Penguin”!”

We laughed.

A comfortable silence.

Donna: “I missed you. I always thought you were kinda funny and smart. And you know, you’re kinda cute too.”

“Me?!”

“Yeah. Ummm, so I know that thing with Peggy didn’t work out, but, uh are you now done with going out with High School Girls?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“Oh, just curious.”

Silence.

“Chuck, Paly High School is having a game against Lynbrook next Friday. And I could use a Friend right now. So, would you like to go out with me ..to the game, ya know as  “A Friend”?”

“As a “Friend”? Yeah, ok, I guess so.”

“You don’t sound too enthused.”

“Yeah, well…I always thought you were kinda cute too and since you’re now uh… unattached… I thought you and I might…” I trailed off weakly.

“Oh?!” Donna blushed scarlet.

“Look forget about it.”

“No, no…Chuck, why don’t we go out..as friends and see what happens?”

See what happens?! Oh Boy, that sounded a lot better! The gears started turning in my mind. Carnal thoughts began to flash before my eyes I broke out in a clammy sweat.

“Yeah. Ok, Sure!”

And so we set a date as “Friends” for the next Football Game next Friday.

To be continued…

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