I Believe this Belongs to You

SMACK!!!

OW! Did he have to swat my ass so hard with that Damn paddle?!

SWAT!

SMACK!!

SMAA-CRAKKK!!!

GODDAMMIT! FUCK! That one hurt like hell and I could see and hear fragments of a paddle scatter across the basement floor.

An evil silver skull painted on the wall leered down at me with bad intent. Another individual grabbed me the seat of my pants and wound up delivering another tailbone crushing blow with an unbroken paddle.

The basement was painted a nauseous green and the air was redolent with cigars, cigarettes, beer fumes. The noise was so raucous you could barely hear yourself think. 

There was screaming and cheering, yelling and laughing. Someone was weeping loudly and being told to “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Was it me who was crying, begging for mercy? God, I hoped not. 

There was no mercy in this basement of Hell. Just rage, sadism, degradation, booze-fueled laughter, and humiliation. Did I mention there was pain? There was – and it was there in Spades.

It seemed that the entire Fraternity of Sigma Sigma had turned out to “Welcome” the new Pledge Class of Spring 1985. And were there to especially give “Yours Truly” a very warm welcome.

“SWAT! SWAT! SWAT!!!” chanted and clapped the Fraternity Brothers in unison.

I could feel the man change his grip on my jeans as his whole body leverage shifted, I could sense the paddle being lifted higher, higher… and then begin its descending arc.

At that moment before impact, I thought to myself…

Hang on. Make it through this semester and you’ll be a member of the coolest fraternity on campus. You’ll attend the best parties, meet tons of chicks, have a shitload of friends – who’ll be your Brothers for life and…

SMACK! 

I gritted my teeth in pain and my ass felt almost completely numb as my butt cheeks vibrated like a Jews Harp.

“NEXT!”

I limped back to my metal folding chair where my empty seat was surrounded by eighteen other terrified members of my Pledge Class.

There was a wet feeling running down my leg and I suspected it was blood. At least I hoped it was blood and not piss or shit.

I lowered myself gently into my chair, wincing as my bottom made contact with the hard metal surface.

“You got twelve Swats…They must really like you,” said Pete Parducci out of the corner of his mouth.

“You think?” I muttered, slightly irritated at my pledge brother’s sarcasm. 

I touched my Pledge Pin on my shirt collar making sure it was firmly secured and had not fallen off during my punishment.

“If it was me I’d…began Parducci.

“YOU TWO IN THE CORNER, SHUT THE HELL UP OVER THERE! No Goddamn talking! I mean you PLEDGE ZELMO! Parducci get your ass over here in the corner, Brother Swensen has just called an “Infraction” on your ass.

Parducci’s chestnut complexion visibly paled and his brown mop seemed to stand on its end.

“But, I didn’t do anything to earn an “Infraction” I was just asking my Pledge Brother if he was…

“SHADDUP! GET OVER HERE. NOW!”

Parducci bowed his head like a guilty child and shuffled over to the corner of the basement, whereupon he received three quick swats by a hulking jock wearing a letterman’s jacket.

He walked back rubbing the seat of his pants and scowling at me.

I raised my hands in a “Hey, don’t blame me, dude” pose of contrition as he took his seat.

Pledge Master Robert Hill aka Brother “Lazarus ” banged a mallet on the table and ordered silence in the room. His kindly bovine face made a stark contrast to the chaotic scene around him.

The “Infraction Punishment” session is now over. We will now cover the upcoming assigned duties you must complete this week as a Pledge Class. At the end of the meeting, we will be handing out Pledge Pins to all of you…except for Pledge Zelmo who has already received his from me at the start of the meeting.”

Pledge Class duties were then assigned, pins were given and half an hour later – we were dismissed

“What beef do those guys have with you dude and how come you got a pin before the rest of us?” asked Parducci as we exited out together of the Frat House basement.

“I’ll tell you over a beer at the Oasis, it looks like I kinda owe you one,” I replied.

*

The Oasis was quiet on a Sunday night with only a few students sitting at the bar and in a few booths.

The atmosphere was dark. The air was cloudy with the smell of cigarettes and hops from all the beer that had been spilled and poorly mopped up recently.

Eton John was warbling about some dude named “Levon” over the jukebox in the corner of the pub.

We found an empty booth and ordered a pitcher of beer with two mugs.

“…you mean to tell me -This is your second time Pledging Sigma Sigma?” said Parducci taking a sip of Budweiser out of a mug.

“Yeah, ” I said, fingering my Pledge Pin on my shirt collar.”

“You’re fuckin’ nuts! Why?”

Ah… I don’t know?” I said, shaking my head and taking a sip of beer.

“Are you sure they just swatted your ass…not your head?” Parducci snickered.

“You’re talking about the same thing.”

We both laughed comfortably for a moment.

“Look,” I said rubbing my pin on my collar…”I can’t give you a ” logical reason “why” I’m pledging again. I quit halfway through the program last semester. Now, I guess… Now, I just wanna complete what I started last time”

“Why’d you quit last time?” he asked.

“I freaked out. One of my Pledge Brothers collapsed during a meeting and I thought he had an epileptic fit or heart attack or somethin.’ So I ran out of the basement and hid out in the dorm for a few days. But it turned out he was okay… he visited me afterward and begged me not to quit the Pledge Class.”

“But you did?”

“Yeah. And I also gave him my Pledge Pin. I told him to give it to the Pledge Master Satori, with thanks but no thanks message.”

“Did he make it through the program?”

“Yeah, he did. He gave me my pin back at the start of the meeting.”

“But, Pledge Master Hill said he gave you a pin.”

“That’s right Pete, he did. You see…Robert Hill was the guy who fainted at that meeting. He was also the one I gave my pin to when I quit. He was my Pledge Brother last semester…now he’s our Pledge Master.

“Whoa! That’s fuckin’ Karma Man!” 

“Yeah. Look, Pete, I’d appreciate it if you don’t blab this to the rest of the guys in our Pledge Class. Some of them are already giving me the fish eye over all the “extra attention” I got at tonight’s meeting.”

“Uh, don’t worry about me saying anything, fucker. After tonight’s meeting, I’m done.”

“Parducci, you might want to think about that, ” I said. “You might end up changing your mind later.”

“Pffffft. I doubt it. No offense but I think you’re nuts going through this bullshit again. As for me, I’m out. Here.”

Parducci attempted to hand me his Pledge Pin. I sat back and crossed my arms in refusal.

“Uh uh…I ain’t taking your pin. There are a couple more things you should know too…Sigma has the lowest Pledge dropout rate on campus.”

“Meaning what, Zelmo?”

“Meaning every guy that’s gotten pinned and quits comes back and pledges again until he makes into the Sigma Fraternity “

“Seriously? I call bullshit, dude.”

“And I am not the first one Pete. Every semester some guy quits the incoming Pledge Class only to show up again…eventually. Oh, the Brothers make a big deal about whether or not they should let the dropout have a second chance but they always do in the end because…”

“I still call Bullshit! ” Parducci interrupted, his voice beginning to rise.

…it’s supposed to be a Fraternity secret…but …people talk – once a guy accepts a  pin – it’s game over. There is no quitting…Once a Sigma always a Sigma.”

“Ooooo…Scary shit, dude. I’m still quitting,” said Parducci, dropping his pin onto the table and getting up from the booth. “Thanks for the beer Zelmo, I’ll be seeing you around…”

“Parducci, wait…”I held up my hands to stop him.” I like you and I’m only telling you this because I didn’t believe the rumors or stories either…but,  it’ll only get harder from this point on…for both of us…You’ll feel compelled to come back and I…please, don’t make me take your pin, Pete…please…” I said, making a grab for his arm, catching his sleeve.

Parducci shook my arm off with a “Later Zelmo,” and stalked out of the bar.

A few of the patrons stared at me like I was some kind of guilty prick as I sat back down in the booth. I scowled back at them as I drained my bitter-tasting mug of beer.

As if on cue the jukebox started blasting AC/DC’s hit “Highway To Hell,” and people went back to minding their own business.

“How damn appropriate, ” I muttered while listening to the music.

Parducci’s Pledge Pin was lying on the table where he left it. The pin seemed to emit a soft glow in the bar light. I picked it up and held it in my hand. If objects could emote – this pin would have screamed in frustrated rage.

I looked at it for several minutes, put it in my pocket with a sigh, finished my beer, and left the bar.

*

The roar from the basement could be heard almost a block away down the street.

My Fraternity Brothers were doing their best to scare the crap out of the incoming Fall Pledge Class of 1985. And from the sound of it – they were doing a damn good job of it too. If Hell had a Sporting Event – it would have probably sounded like the noise coming from our basement.

Fear is such a wonderful tool for motivation.

Walking into the basement, the jeers subsided. As elected Pledge Master my presence commanded respect and dare I say it…awe

Proceeding up the aisle to the front of the room, I paused before reaching the massive oak table that faced thirteen frightened young men and turned to a seated Pledge. The young man visibly squirmed in fear, his eyes were downcast, unable to look at my face. 

“I believe, this belongs to you,” I said handing him a pin before making my way  to the front table whereupon I seated myself

Twelve faces looked up terrified at me, the thirteenth face went bone white with shocked recognition.

Well, I had warned him, remember?

Picking a paddle off the table, I tapped it into the palm of my left hand meditatively for a few moments, as I stared them all down.

“I think we can begin now, ” I said.