A Near Thing

Our car screeched to the right and swerved to the left where it hit a rock grouping,  then proceeded to nosedive down an embankment before completing a somersault and landing in a ditch.

While airborne my younger brother hollered:

“CHARLIE! OHHH…SHIIITTT!”

 “MATTY…WATCH OUT!!” I screamed in return.

“FUUCKKKK!!!” we wailed in unison as we plummeted down the ravine. 

Before crash landing, my teenage life flashed through my mind like a film in a movie projector gone haywire in reverse. 

College. Loud Party music, the taste of ice-cold beer. I didn’t really like her, but the sex was good. I hate High School. There’s nothing good on TV. Learning to drive a car. Playing air guitar to Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven. Universal Monster Movies. Broken glass, the loss of blood was fatal. I’m late for something important. The Old Man playing “When the Saints Go Marching In” on his organ. The heartbreaking night my Dad left. “You are the man of the House now.” I don’t recognize my reflection in the mirror. The panting and the gamey smell of my dog’s, Star’s breath. Hiding from my parent’s loud arguing. The sound of a woman weeping inconsolably. “We suspect they died instantly.”   Vincent Price’s maniacal laughter. A parade of toy G.I Joes, some are missing their arms and heads. Dancing Bear doing a jig on Captain Kangaroo. My Mom singing Happy Birthday. Panicked animals screaming unable to escape. “If you want to name him “Charlie” after your Father, that’s fine by me.” A Sign: Dead End.

All these images, words, and sensations flitted warp speed across my mind as the film spun crazily backward and forwards. Only to end as the car impacted into a drainage ditch with a loud crash.

The air was filled with dust and smoke as we crawled out of the battered Dodge.

A crowd of faceless strangers surrounds us, helping my brother and me push my car back onto the road.

Surprisingly the car was still drivable.

But, something in me was irretrievably broken. And perhaps lost for good.