“A Strange Turn of Events” Part 11
My Adventures and Short Brush with Fame in Community Theater continued…
I was so nervous that I flubbed my opening line and started spouting my opening line to Elmire in the next scene – “May heaven in who’s infinite goodness we adore…” Uh no… And so I continued with “And by way, Laurent hang up my hairshirt and put my scourge in place…” which was the correct opening line to Laurent – my manservant – who was supposed to be offstage – and never seen. (The Lucky Bastard!). And so I entered to begin the scene with Dorine, the maid. WHEW!
After that minor flub, everything got back on track. And the play ran its course as we pull it together. I managed to get a few laughs as I snarled, wept, flung my body to and fro across the stage and professed my undying love to the lead actress. Next thing I knew we were all taking a bow to thunderous applause.
So I guess you could say Tartuffe’s Opening Night was a success. Did I mention we had a full house? Yep! Afterward, we cracked a bottle of wine and mingled with our friends and families.
My wife had come for moral support and also some of my friends from Berkley which was a surprise. They all gave me hugs and thumbs up for my performance. They all said I did a great job and that I was marvelous as the slimy hypocrite. I wish I could have taken it all in but I was still kicking myself in the ass for blowing my first line. But I smiled and accepted their congrats as graciously as possible – secretly vowing that I wouldn’t screw up next time.
We ran the play through the rest of the week and the house was completely almost completely filled. I guess the word got out to the local Community quickly that the play was not a stinker and was something fun to come and watch. After that first week, the tickets were sold out for each performance. We never had an empty seat. Heck, even Charles Schultz the creator of the “Peanuts” fame and his wife came to see the show.
And so the good ship I called The Tartuffe Show continued to sail and play to audiences with very few mishaps except with a few hiccups. But it was tiring especially since I was working a full-time job and doing a show three nights a week and a matinee on Sundays. Sundays were sometimes a grind as usually, it took about a gallon of coffee just to get coherent.
As I mentioned earlier I would sometimes chew my words whenever I would get tired or rattled. During one Sunday performance, I was supposed to say to the character Elmire ” I surrendered to your Beauty” but it came out as “I surrender to your Birdy ” Good grief! And I remembered the actress facing me upstage silently mouthing the word “Birdy? ” with a puzzled look on her face. Well, the cast thought this was just hysterical and later they put a bird whistle toy by my make up mirror in the dressing room. When you pressed it would go “Tweet, Tweet, Tweet!” Very funny Guys! Well in retrospect I should consider myself very fortunate. I could have uttered the hilarious mispronunciation line as “I SURRENDERED TO YOUR BOOTY!!!” That probably would have brought the house down.
With each performance, I continued to build on each show as I gained more and more confidence – going from slightly unrestrained to completely outrageous. Often I would pull some new improvised bit of business with each show. During one performance a bit of set fell down and I turned to one actor and barked “… And YOU need to get that fixed! And then sotto voce doing my best Peter Seller’s Inspector Clouseau impression -” Swine Housekeepah !” Cue audience laughter and applause.
Another funny bit of improvisation I stole from one of my favorite Three Stooges featuring when they got hypnotized by The Great Sven Garlic. Sven Garlic was a hypnotist who hypnotized the boys to walk out onto a flag pole. Uttering the words “Look into my eyes, look into my eyes… My eyes!” he opened his clenched palms to expose an eye painted on each palm. Well, that was too funny of a gag to not incorporate into my scenes with Orgon. So in my last scene, I opened my hands to Orgon and there were two eyes painted one on each palm. The actor who played Orgon went along with the gag and he started to look mesmerized during the scene. That is until ol Tartuffe was dragged off by the scruff of his neck by the local Sheriff. Curses! I almost had the Sap again under my power again!
One of my favorite bits of improvisation came about early in rehearsal which I would later use throughout the run of the play. During the scene where the son Damis and the Father Orgon confront my character about making a pass at Elmire (Orgon’s wife), I began to weep copious fake tears of contrition bellowing like a baby having a meltdown As they argued about my perfidy I took my rosary out and kissing it reverently started to flagellate myself onstage. With each strike of my rosary whip, I would cringe and cry out in great wails of mock pain. This had cracked up the cast during rehearsal and sure enough, my instincts paid off as the audience roared with laughter during this moment. It was probably my favorite scene of the show as our comedic timing had to be perfect or else it would have been chaos. Damis and Orgon had to argue, I would strike myself, and then they’d have to argue some more and I had to strike myself again and so on. It was argue, argue – whip & howl! Argue, Argue, Argue – whip & howl, whip & howl! The audience loved it and as actors, we had a blast doing the scene. But talk about suffering for one’s art!
As the show got near the end of its run. I started to run into people who had seen the show. At a local coffee bar called “The Goat” by locals, a barista asked me if I was the actor who played Tartuffe? “Yeah, that’s me,” I said…”Did you like the show?” She then raised her arms to the sky and she howled “AUUUUUGHHHH!” just like I had done in the show! We both laughed and I was extremely flattered. I guess I had gotten into acting to be seen and heard in a positive way and so this small validation was a gift. On my way out of the coffee shop, I threw in an extra buck into the barista tip jar.
End of Part 11
The final chapter concludes the Saga next month… So, Stay tuned…
