“The Great War” Part 5
With his bag o’ coins, Chuckleberry led the companions to this weird lookin’ hamburger joint that had these giant piss yaller arches on it. “Order whatever you’se want fellars – it’s my treat,” he said. Yessir, the building was weird but the staff runnin’ the place was even weirder. Workin’, there were three funny lookin’…
“The Great War” Part 4
Well, I’m shore ya’ll will be glad to hear that the gators didn’t eat Mister Putter. And their trip downriver was idyllic. No one’s bothered them – so the Gnomes and Hewitt gotta a chance to rest a bit. They were assisted by a big fish that was harnessed to the raft to tow ’em.…
“The Great War” Part 3
Now before the Gnomes had gone a few steps towards their unknown destination, they run into this scrawny Human kid who wore huge bifocals. The kid identified himself as Hewitt Putter, who happened to be on Summer Vacation from some Magicky School in lands far away. “I’m gonna be your guide, Dudes,” he said squintin’…
“The Great War” Part 2
Enter Gnomes Buggerz and Schmendrick into my story. Buggerz was the smarter of the two but that ain’t sayin much. His brain was like a BB in a boxcar. Schmendrick couldn’t find his ass even if his hands were in his back pockets! These two addle headed Gnomes were just perfect for the suicide mission.…
“The Great War” Part 1
Dear Mistur Klause, Whenever we git together with kin on Holidays or go camping with friends – invariably I’m called upon to recount my memories of the “Great War.” And even though I never got tired of tellin’ it – I felt it was high time that I wrote my version down. Younger kin folk…
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
“He didn’t have to die,” I said to Gort2 as we strapped ourselves into our saucer cockpit. “It was just a matter of bad timing.” “I mean think of it…if Klaatu hadn’t visited Earth during the 1950’s Red Scare he might have been hailed as the new Messiah.” My father’s saucer had been taken out…
Jake and his Hot Trans Am Part 4
The days to the double date seemed to take forever, each passing day seemed to increase the anticipation and worry. As I sat in my Oceanography Class all I could think of is what disaster had I gotten myself in this time? Mr. Peterson droned on an on about “ocean floor sediment” and “fossilization of…
A Shattering Experience
My Mom has a picture of me taken in 1959 which she keeps in her bedside bible. The black and white photo shows me with a large bandage on my back. Now about that bandage… I was over at my friend, Jula’s house, one warm afternoon in Alexandria, Virginia and I thought I’d impress her…
Ain’t Got No Check or TP!
Dear Mistur Klaus, How have you been? Things have been pretty rough down here in Elf Town since you furloughed us from the Toy Factory. The frickin’ Dwarves have been gettin’ drunk and loud as you-know-what here every single night. Gnomes have been rioting up a storm since they ain’t gotten their “Stimulatin’ Checks” you…