Sell Out!!

It was a typical boring Saturday night. Translated: I was too exhausted to get off my butt and do something that required any effort on my part.

So I thought I’d just tool around on my cell phone, and nurse a couple of pints of Knicker Twister beers while chilling on my well-worn La-Z Boy recliner. 

eBay was always a safe bet for mindless entertainment. I always had time to check out the stuff I didn’t need or had room for in my already cluttered home.

Scrolling through the numerous listings of tennis shoes, vintage magazines, watches, and records I abruptly saw out of the corner of my eye, a bright yellow box covered with what appeared to be small toy figures. 

“No, no, no,” I muttered.

I clicked on the auction item listing, praying that I was mistaken.

“It can’t be…it just can’t,” I said, tasting the sour taste of beer and stomach acid in the back of my throat.

But it was. 

There on eBay was a 1960’s Pellham Wizard puppet in mint condition. 

The box was a cheerful yellow with marionettes drawn in festive colors on its lid, while the actual red-gowned Wizard puppet bore a sardonic expression as if to say: “Hey asshole, remember me?”

Oh yes, I remember you, ya little bastard. How could I forget the harbinger of my family’s demise?

Whether it be for good or ill,

 I think there comes a moment in a young person’s life that defines his character for the future.

For some it might be an act of bravery, for others a moment of cowardice, in my case, it was a shameful realization that I could be bought.

That is if the price was right.

Holding my cell phone with a trembling hand, I closed my eyes, and remembered…

***

…how much I wanted that Damn toy marionette.

The problem was back in 1969, twenty-five bucks was more than my Mom could afford for a toy.

Didn’t stop me from nagging her though.

“It’s not your Birthday, and I can’t afford to buy it right now,” she said.

Well, that ended that. 

That is until one day, Rick, my Mom’s husband appeared in my room like the devil with a proposition.

All I had to do was pass a simple message from him to my mom.

“Tell her you want me to stay,” he said.

“Why?” I asked.

“She wants me to move out. Tell her you want me to stay and I’ll make it worth your while,” he said, flashing me his most winning ultrabrite toothpaste smile.

It felt wrong, but I was tempted.

After all, what could it hurt? I liked the guy well enough – that is until I found out he had robbed banks and been arrested.

And that later he had gone to prison for embezzlement.

Oh, did I mention he was also a pathological liar?

Unfortunately, that stuff came out later.

“If I do that, can I have a puppet?”

“Sure,” he said, with a wink.

***

I’m ashamed to say that a few days later I was playing, rather guiltily I may add, with a brand new wizard marionette.

You know, the one I had been bugging my Mother to buy.

Yeah, I finally got what I wanted. But, somehow I felt like I lost something precious in the process.

***

So, my Mom gave Rick another chance.

Then another.

And then another one after that.

He eventually sucked us dry of course. Then discarded us when he found a rich widow in Arizona to sponge off of. The woman’s name was “Trixie” Deadmore of all things and I heard Rick eventually became her seventh (and last) husband. 

In the end, we lost everything because of him. Our house, mom’s car, a bunch of furniture, and even our pets who figured it was better to bail on us than stick around. 

Everything gone.

As the movers removed our furniture,  Mom tearfully told our neighbors that she had stayed with Rick because he had been good for us kids.

***

Later:

My wife found me seated, surrounded by Knicker Twister beer bottles and holding my head in my hands.

“Are you okay, Honey?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied.

“You look like you could use some cheering up. Look what I found at the vintage second-hand store today.”

“What is it?” I said.

“Happy early Birthday, Charlie,” she said, handing me a bright yellow box with drawn marionettes on the lid.