“Bum Pitch”
“HEYYYYYBATTTTAHBATTTTAH SWINNNG!” A Greek chorus of high pitched voices from little kids urge me to swing. Swing at a leather grenade that soars sixty miles an hour directly towards my head. I duck. STREEAAAIIIIKKKE ONE! yells the Umpire. A group of parents and fellow Cub teammates voice their outraged disapproval. “NOO! BOOO! THAT BALL ALMOST…
“Doodling in Class”
Miss Napier angrily snapped her chalk in half effectively silencing Class 3B. Striding over to my desk she snatched a paper off my desk. She towered like an angry Goddess over me as I shrunk down in my seat. “Charlie Bucklin – what are these scribbles?” “Uh, notes?” “They look like doodles on your paper!”…
“A Bagful of Freedoze”
Frida…Frida…Frida…!” “What is it, Chucky?” said Mom. “Frida..Frida…” “You want something from the next room?” I nod my head enthusiastically as my short stumpy legs propel me towards the kitchen. Goddamn, these cotton diapers itch…and “sniff”…THEY NEED CHANGING TOO!” “Well, what does Chucky want?” I point my figure towards a cluttered shelf of cereal, chips,…
Sunday Night Family Barbecue
Charlie, do you want to help me barbecue today?” “Yeah! Can I?” “Sure. We can work as a team. We can take turns watching the steak grill.” On Sunday’s, The Old Man was in fine form. There was nothing he loved more than working the family barbecue. In our neighborhood, he was known as the…
“A Strange Turn of Events” Part 7
My Adventures and Short Brush with Fame in Community Theatre continues… Well, Mr Wizard failed to appear to get me out of the mess So… I was left standing in my living room in Novato with my fist held high. Very much like Scarlet O’Hara in Gone With The Wind but instead of crying “As…
“It’s Gettin’ Real”
“Harder! Harder! Harder!” she cried. I hovered over her body. My full body weight suspended over the narrow distance between us. A light sheet and blanket were all that separated us. Sweat beaded my forehead as I strained to go deeper, deeper. “Yes! That’s the spot! You can go deeper! Deeper!” My thumbs felt they…
4th Grade “Facts O’ Life!” Part One
..and that’s are how Babies are made Charlie!” she said. Wow!!! This was News to me! The Mystery of the Universe solved! I hung up my phone absolutely stunned. My ten-year-old girlfriend had just revealed the “Creation of Life” to me and I was utterly flabbergasted. As I stood there, in contemplation, I thought heard…
“A Stupid Bike Story!”
It was a stupid lookin’ bike. Really Weird. The bike was painted in an ugly metallic green color giving it an appearance of a grasshopper – if a bug could transform itself into a bicycle – this would have been the result. Obviously, this flawed contraption was not made in America. The kid called it…
“Workin,’ Baby!”
Ex Nihilo, Nihil Fit (Work Is Still a Four Letter Word~W. Shakespeare) “All we need is proof of your schooling and we can finalize the hiring process,” said the beaming HR Director of CasaPobre Resort and Spa.I reached down and presented Ms.Cabot with a large framed diploma. It resembled a large serving tray that one…
“A Strange Turn of Events.” Part 6
My Adventures and Brief Brush with Fame in Community Theater continued… So I was screwed. No matter where I turned I was screwed. If I turned to the left – screwed or right- screwed, backwards – screwed or forwards – screwed and double screwed. I had been suckered by a fake one hundred dollar bill…