“The Great War” Part 6
Meanwhile back at home – I had decided to enlist. Since I viewed it as my “Patriotic Duty” to do whatever I could to protect my Country.
The Militia Enlistment Board thought I was to durn old to fight. Can you imagine that?
I was only twelve hundredt years pupped. My Pappy, Walter Brennan Treewanker, made it to three thousand before he passed on. Sose I was borderline offended.
Instead of bein’ allowed to fight – The Board gave me a “Crosswalk Guard” sash and a stupid sign that said “STOP!”
I was told to monitor the traffic around the toddler’s schools – which I did for a few days. However, I felt like a Idjit.
I ended up throwin’ my sash and sign in the garbage and went home and sulked for a spell.
Well, eventually the Enlistment Board figured out I had abandoned my post. Sose they was P. O. ‘d at me.
I told them – makin’ me a “Crosswalk Guard was jest plain dumb and a waste of my wily talents.
Eventually, they came around my way of thinkin’ – sose they gave me a very important secret mission to perform.
My top secret assignment was to make a bunch of flyers and post them around all the local candy stores, discos, bars and sundry drinkin’ holes near the border.
My flyer read:
Warning!!!
Beware!!!
Pschotick Gnomes carry Doomsday Magic Stone!
The Pebble will bring Massive Destruction to All – if Detonated!!!
Do not Approach or Confront these Bloodthirsty Terrorists!
All Curious Idjits – Keep Your Distance!!!
You Have Been Warned!
Wellsir, as I began postin’ my flyers, things started to heat up somethin’ fierce in Elf Land.
To be continued..
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